Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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