Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
