So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
