ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
