So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
