You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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