She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
