dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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