It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
