Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
