forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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