I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
