I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
