Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
