also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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