i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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