my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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