why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
