And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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