was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
