And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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