why didn't you poke me back
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
