sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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