honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
