i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
