we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
