I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
