Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
