i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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