physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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