put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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