Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize