He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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