filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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