some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
