He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize