Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
