:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize