ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
