Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
