I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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