How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
