so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
