one two three fourrrrnication!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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