It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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