You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
