I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Boobs are out for the taking
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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