Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In other news, I just burned my penis
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize