I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
