I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
