just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
