You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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