We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
