The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
