ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
