she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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