so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
