Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
