TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
