I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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