I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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